Turning Back

I don’t want to continue to be 
what I have lately become
not any longer
I’ve had enough
I want to go back
reclaim the person I once was

Not so long ago 
I wasn’t this way
back before...you know
before he became dangerous
just a fool in a New York comic book
I could point and laugh
and know it was not serious
no consequences of any substance

I could always find cautions for my judgements
reasons to doubt
I wasn’t there to see
I didn’t have enough information
a bad case of good intentions
compassion came more easily then

Now I speak what I only once imagined
I judge in the absence of details
I curse based on impression or affiliation
I have no patience left for doubt
too long exposed to this darkness 
it has changed me and not for the better
I don’t like it
I’m going to try to find my way back

Marv Himmel
©May 27, 2020
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