Too Much Junk

In the back of my mind I know
I have too much stuff
junk actually
but I don’t like to think about it
because of how it makes me feel
about myself and my values and
how it conflicts with that comfortable
image I have of myself as a good
person who lives in balance and
is generous and wants the world
to be a better place and how
I dislike materialism and hoarding
and greed and all those who
seem to want more and more and
more all the time and I don’t want
to be one of them but instead of
giving it away I just don’t think about it
and in the back of my mind a little
voice snickers and jeers
“You are exactly like them!”

Getting rid of stuff
is a lot harder than ignoring it
every piece demands analysis
I may need this someday…
It was a gift from Marita…
Think of the money I can save…
Would anyone else even want it…
the little voice again reminds
me of all the times I have looked
for something I know I have
but couldn’t find so bought a new one
only to find the original the following week
after moving on to some other project
ending up with two of them tucked
away somewhere I won’t be able
to find if ever I need it again
somewhere in storage or the closet
or the garage or up in the attic

But I might need it you never know
that’s how I justify it
I cast about for some value I
can assign to it some dollar sign
and the voice begins to ask “Is that is how
you want to spend your life — in an endless
yard sale pricing, tagging
and valuing everything
wondering what it might be worth or
how much money you might get for it?”

I don’t want to be like that
so maybe in a few weeks
or a month or two
or a year
I will go through this stuff
I will
I really will
I am gonna do it
for sure…

Marv Himmel
August 1, 2017 ©

One thought on “Too Much Junk”

  1. I love this poem! You captured all those scolding, rationalizing, turning-away thoughts beautifully, and the promises we make to ourselves! The run-on sentences emphasize the way thoughts run on a track… to a place where they dead end in a repetition of past thoughts, keeping us in place. “I am gonna do it for sure…” who hasn’t thought that? Nice!

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