Sorting through my armament
trying to find the right combinations
that are appropriate for today
and that fit my mood
it’s not so easy knowing what to wear
how I want to appear outside
I can’t just go like this
they would see me for who I am
and that would make me vulnerable
to the indignities of their judgments
Arrogance perhaps
or snobby intellectualism
to keep you away
maybe a hint of aggression
a touch of low boiling rage
or better yet madness
it is hard to choose
a swatch of aloofness
a hint of cold indifference
perhaps sneering contempt
or even playful and silly
no threat
it is dangerous out there
dangerous for my person
and for my soul
I must choose carefully
I must be safe
At least I know
that at the end of the day
when I am home again
the drawbridge safely up
the doors all locked
my palace secure
I can switch off my protective shields
remove these armors
and dance
and giggle
and weep
and shout
however inappropriately I want
for as long and loud as I wish
Marv Himmel
December 7, 2017 ©